SUB PAR

The Subway restaurant chain had a bit of a mini scandal a few weeks ago about the length of their "footlong" sandwiches. It seems that some of these sandwiches may have been a mere eleven to eleven and a half inches! For shame! How dare they rip us off by half an inch? why after only twenty-four customers, they have saved themselves a whole sandwich! Oh, my bad- twenty-three customers.

  Big freakin' deal! There is a lot to complain about at Subway, but this isn't it. First of all, let me remind you that a half an inch is about this [-----] big. Double that for for the full inch cheat and you still have nothing. And try to remember they gave the sandwich to you in a bag that is carried vertically, so even if it started its life a full twelve inches it would be folly To expect something as soft and pliable as bread to maintain any set length or not compress under it's own weight.

  Where they need to be investigated is in the disparity between the pictures on the menu board and what they try to pawn off on their consumers. The pictures show sandwiches stuffed with over an inch of meat (in this direction that inch means much more) but what you get is a head of lettuce stuffed between two pieces of bread with, if you are lucky- a tissue thin slice of deli meat. My brother asked his wife why she always gets the vegetable sub, she answered that they don't give you enough meat to taste anyway, why pay for it? They even spread (so to speak) this policy to the tuna as well. A six inch tuna sub used to get you three scoops of tuna, now? Just one then they try to spread it across the whole sandwich. Not cool.

  And what exactly is a "regular sub" ? They always advertise that "all" "regular” subs are five dollar footlongs, yet everything I order costs eight bucks.

  This year's SuperBowl featured a subway commercial congratulating their spokesjerk Jared for keeping the weight off he lost eating at Subway. Big deal, considering the amount of meat you get for your money I'm surprised he didn't starve to death.